Its my un-birthday, don't spoil it for everyone.

Many of you out there are too lazy for the modern world, one of the many inconveniences can be transporting a loved one or tender acquaintance to the abortion clinic. For those of your too lazy to figure out how to get out of that, I've prepared a list of things you can use to weasel out of your duty.


1. Why is everything always about you?

2. Its out of my way.

3. You aren't that pregnant.

4. Its against someones religion.

5. There's a lot of stuff in my car, I don't know if you'd fit.

6. I'm not sure where it is.

7. Mama's family is on.

8. I can't miss another clowning lesson.

9. Why pay for something we can do ourselves?

10. My horoscope says not to undertake any baby related endeavors today.

11. What if we get lost on the way? Is that a risk you're willing to take?

12. Are you sure you don't want to keep it or something?

13. If you really want to kill something, mission accomplished my buzz is dead.

14. You can't spell "Culpable" without "Able," so drive yourself.

15. I don't like waiting rooms.

16. Let's agree to disagree on how you get there.

17. Maybe you'll miscarriage?

18. I'm already taking your sister.

19. Are you sure we even have that type of doctor here?

20. The manager at Arby's is really cracking down with people being on time.

21. I'm afraid of doctors.

22. You could just wait, and donate it.

23. Ugh, the lawn isn't going to mow itself.

24. Maybe I should drive you to the gym instead.

25. Even if I did in fact lose the condom during, why should I have to lose my afternoon now.