Do you regret being a magician's assistant as much as this woman?

Holding down a crappy job is a hard fact of life. Not only can the job be bad, but much like flesh eating bacteria, the virtues of its terribleness can spread to other extremities of your life, such as talking up chicks. Sure you may get paid badly and the hours are horrible, but when you have to admit you're a janitor at an insane asylum it may hold you back from getting to first base (even with one of the inmates). Many have figured out they can simply lie, and claim to a higher station, but in today's world of friends knowing friends and Internet registries, there is a big margin that you can get called on your fib. There is an answer. I'm not talking about waiting out the rest of summer so you can go back to your job at the student union, or finally getting that Associate degree from city college and taking the Verizon store by storm; I'm talking of course about making your existing job sound better.

I submit to you some suggestions on how to make lame jobs sound better.