Everyday our social lexicon lurches forward filling out new spaces in our vocabulary, adapting and changing with our needs. Many words are brought fourth out of necessity, some out of cultural popularity, and some simply because no one else was willing to bridge the gap. Here are six words that I've started using, mostly in an insulting context, but sometimes we just need more swear words.

The island of girls with Michael Jackson? ... what?

Word: Deever
Definition:
1. A movie that goes directly to dvd.
2. Something so bad it deserves to go direct to dvd.
A huge deever of 06' was Chevy Chase's "Funny Money" which was so bad it got pulled out of a theatrical release. It was supposed to come out the same day (1/26/07) as the dismalSmokin Aces, abomination epic movie, and disaster of a Kevin Smith appearance in Catch and Release. I've seen Funny Money and it does not stand up to any of those horrible movies.
It's also worth mentioning that Steven Segal has done 10 direct to dvd movies since 2003, an accomplishment that wins him the crown "Prince of the Deevers."





Word: Clofer
Definition:
1. Someone who habitually sends you links that you've already seen.
2. Clofing, the act of sending stale links.

Google images found this under "broke". Good for them, at least they have each other.

We need to be setting a higher standard at which we send links to people. There should be a rule that if it appeared on digg, or fark, don't bother sending the link. Otherwise you are a Clofer. Old news, slightly out dated, and boring. Why are you showing me this? Fucking clofe.



Word: Shattrick
Definition Three consecutive overdraft fees.
It's a unique accomplishment that you yourself attained. Way to go, you're broke. Shattrick applies to any three time loss situations, Mart Schottenheimer in the playoffs has pulled off a shattrick.



Word: Dongtone
Definition: After a dropped cell phone call, there is confusion as to who calls who back
Many people haven't worked out who calls back who after a disconnect, and even though all cell phones have call waiting the person you are talking to may not. Then the call drops and you both start mashing the call button like heaving retard, you start getting busy signals, missing waiting calls, only letting it ring once to see if they're on the line, both of you trying to penetrate one phone line, you've got yourself a hold of a dongtone.

Right now he's drawing from extensive pretendeer knowledge of the history of traffic lights.

Word: Pretendeer
Definition: Someone knows about a topic solely by the wikipedia entry
Like a rocketeer, but for bullshit. 3 minutes of reading a wikipedia entry doesn't make you an expert, so knock it off.



Word: Waylamed
Definition: You are 45 minutes late because of mapquest.
There is a pervasive over dependence on technology in this country and sometimes you're late because of it. For fucks sake no one can read a map. Sometimes you'll enter in an address to mapquest and it will tell you there is absolutely no way to drive there, even though... you're sure you've driven to your mom's house before. I just hope these tools get better before we forget how to drive too and its just our robot car dropping us off in the desert thinking it left us at a movie theater.