In our musical listening experiences we've all come across songs that baffle us, that hide their possibly non-existent meanings in folds of corpulent and superfluous lyrics, and leave us wondering long after their bloated cocaine riddled corpses have surfaced for a closed casket funeral. Harnessing the innate knowledge of popular opinion, I surveyed a group of 100 people to investigate what they thought the meanings were behind these 15 songs.

YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE IT TO ME

1. I'll do anything for love, but I wont do that. -Meat Loaf
15% Pay Alimony
17% A Threesome
19% The Dishes
22% Help You Bury The Body
27% Anal


2. Give It To Me -J. Geils Band
1% Your Ja Rule Mixtape
14% Road Head
14% The Car Keys (you're drunk)
71% The Antidote


3. Downtown -Petula Clark
20% Heaven
20% Fight Club
20% Anal
20% Visiting A Fictional Place In Jim Croce's Mind.
20% Sweep The Leg

This is how we do i- whoa... officer I can't do this when I'm sober....aww crap.

4. This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan
1% Land a successful record contract
3% Doggie Style
4% Get A D.U.I.
92% Father illegitimate Children


5. Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough -Michael Jackson
3% Touchdowns
4% Types of Soup
9% Love (Apparently that's what the lyrics indicate)
84% Supple Young Boys


6. We Can Work It Out -Beatles
9% My Finger Is Caught In The Car Door
10% Suicide Pact
19% Child Custody
28% Premature Ejaculation
34% Inhibited Ejaculation

Baby you ain't seen nothing yet, wait till I get to some open air and a family pack of hormel.

7. You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet -Bachman-Turner Overdrive
5% Those Types Of Droppings In The Yard
7% Irregular Body Hair
25% Lit Fart
26% An Inny nipple
36% Spectacular Boating Accident


8. Do That To Me One More Time -Captain and Tenille
6% Kiss
10% Disrespect Me, I dare you
40% Choke Me For My Own Sexual Gratification
44% Foot Rub


9. You Always Hurt The One You Love -Mills Brothers

Her glazed eyes tells us that diabetes has set in and she is now into officialy something good. (Or as the AMA calls it "Something Bad")

17% With Words
21% With A Baseball Bat
29% By Cheating
33% Because They Deserve It


10. I'm Into Something Good -Herman's Hermits
3% Loose Slots
4% Microwaved Watermelon
26% Fried Twinkie
30% Harry Potter Only Book Club
37% Whippits


11. Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind? -The Lovin Spoonful
3% Raisinets or Goobers (Only 3 percent?)
14% Which Escort To Choose From (catalog)
38% DC or Marvel
45% Which Child Lives


12. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For -U2
4% The Saran Wrap (Stop putting it in different places)
6% On Hoth
11% A Good Light Beer
19% My Contacts
24% Happiness (in a carnal sense)
36% Dental Dam

Lord Vader, there are so many uncharted settlements it could be Smugglers it could be... oh that is what you were looking for.

13. Don't Look Back in Anger -Oasis
8% On Our Vacation To Nebraska
9% Switching Back to Margarine (It's not going to help)
21% At The Umpire
30% Studio 60 (Aaron Sorkin excluded)
32% Not Getting Mr. T's Autograph


14. We Shall Overcome -Joan Baez
2% Accidentally Losing One Of Our Children To A Wood-chipper
4% The Fact That You're Asleep
7% Losing Our Engines (Submarine)
10% Old Man Pritchard
14% Pink Eye
15% The Jew Problem
19% Reality T.V.
29% The Age Of Consent In This State


15. I Don't Want To Miss A Thing -Aerosmith
2% Bio-Chem Lecture
5% Battle Star Galactica
17% Everything Up To And Then Immediately After Child Birth
18% You Trying To Sing Unchained Melody After 16 Beers
24% Loved One's Abject Terror
34% Our Makeup Sex (Bet you didn't see the camcorder)