Not suprisingly, every single one of those files is the same recording of a Britney Spears look-alike.

In the hard-paced world of porn I may no longer have time to watch anything over 25 seconds long. This plays to one of the web's greatest strength: Quantity > Quality. You can wade through literally millions of short videos in search of just the right setting, position hair color, etc. The Match-Game analyzer keeps a log of vital stats about each video and can let you know ahead of time, what you've seen before. So many sites share the same content, and are so hazy on description, previews, and grammar, you will inevitably come across the same thing possibly hundreds of times.

It could also possibly be used in reverse to find porn you've lost. Either way, this time/life saver will undoubtedly become a vital accoutrement of your smut gathering sacraments.

Can someone invent this already?

By simply uploading a picture of a co-worker, friend, fellow student (or maybe a hot cousin) the CWFRE scours the Internet looking for faces in porn similar to that of your request. Many of you have come across that one picture, movie clip, etc of a person that resembles someone you'd like to split like wet pine; I'm sure you still have that piece of data backed up in triplicate. Let those secret obsessions rage with CWFRE.

Even hide your collections at schools or libraries.

No longer will you be hounded about obtrusive gangbang footage, or why you seem to only have videos with girls in boots. With a simple combination of keys that only you know, this program hides any trace that you ever had anything dirty ever on your computer. By making invisible not only entire folders, directories, and partitions full of porn, but it deletes the recent usage out of any web browsers and file sharing utilities, and also goes so far as to strike and recent files out of your media players and recent documents. You no longer have to worry that your roommate will find all the porn you hid on their computer, and you wont think twice about children finding your stash.

This simplified non-linear editing system lets you steal the best parts of longer porno's and compile them into shorter clips, do multiple scenes on screen, crop out strange website logos and tag intros, and most importantly has an auto loop feature. With a drag and drop UI you'll never go fumbling into your playlist again.

Register now, get a date within a month and we will send you your choice of two open minded lesbians or two underwear models.

Even though the people at match.com wont return my emails, I think this could be a hit. It's a dating service where if you don't find anyone in the first month, they will send you a free call girl. I know the obvious problem is thinking that people wont be properly motivated if they are getting a free hooker for only the cost of subscription, but you haven't heard the whole plan. There is only one free call girl who makes all those house calls, and she's fat, and busted looking, and the catch is you HAVE to have sex with her. The incentive is if that you get the date inside that first month, we send you two HOT call girls as a congratulations. Or hell, chip n' dales dancers, whatever you want.