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General Update posted Fri April 27, 2007: 7:01 PM by Kai Betting on Relationship Longevity General Update posted Fri April 20, 2007: 11:28 PM by Kai 7 Things From My Childhood That Are No More General Update posted Thu April 19, 2007: 7:58 AM by Kai Terrell Owens Suicide Attempt 911 Call Transcript
Posted Wed September 27, 2006: 6:37 PMGeneral Update I have obtained an advance copy of the emergency call pertaining to Terrell Owens' suspected pain medication over dose. The Dallas Dispatch was very kind in faxing me over a copy and here it is in its entirety. --Begin Call--
Dispatch: Hello, what is the the nature of your emergency?
Owens: Someone might have fed Terrell Owens too many pain killers.
Dispatch: Is Terrell Owens still conscious?
Owens: Of course he is still awake how do you think he is talking?
Dispatch: Well... who...who is Terrell Owens?
Owens: Terell Owens is Terrell Owens!
Dispatch: Are you Terrell Owens sir?
Owens: ...yes
Dispatch: So you took too many pain killers - what is your address?
Owens: ##### ##### ############# past the Golf Course. The place with all the pools and statues of Terell Owens.
Dispatch: I'm sending an ambulance over to you, do you know what kind of pain killers they were?
Owens: Vicodin, I think... I think I was wrong about Vicodin. I thought Vicodin would get the job done, but they didn't stand up and deliver when it was time to execute.
Dispatch: Were you trying to harm yourself?
Owens: Terrell Owens' hand was in pain! Terrell Owens needed sweet relief that aspirin could not deliver, and aspirin should be cut from the team at Walgreens.
Dispatch: How many did you take?
Owens: 28
Dispatch: That's way too many.
Owens: Terrell Owens is a football player, Terrell Owens needs more medication than a regular person.
Dispatch: So that's why you took 28 Vicodin?
Owens: Listen, Terrell Owens doesn't want to argue that Terell Owens needs more than an average person, where is that ambulance?
Dispatch: Its coming sir.
Owens: If we want this too work I just need you to get me the ambulance. That's all, we can get this done if you just get the ambulance too me, I'll do the rest.
Dispatch: I'm sure you will.
Owens: Terrell Owens will.
Dispatch: They should be there by now.
Owens: Is that them outside? In that raggedy looking ambulance? If I had known that I never would have signed on with you guys. I think I need to go with a different team of first responders that will treat Terrell Owens how he deserves.
EMT: (Garbled Voice)
Owens: What are you doing to Terrell Owens?
EMT: (in background) Can you walk to the ambulance?
Owens: The sight of your sad looking ambulance has caused Terrell Owens' hamstring to become sad, you will have to assist him.
Owens: 911 Operator, Terrell Owens is concerned that the Ambulance driver might be gay.
EMT: (in background) Shut up.
Owens: Sir, Terrell Owens is only speaking his mind. If it looks like a rat and talks like a rat.
Dispatch: It sounds like they have you taken care of.
Owens: Terrell Owens wants to drive the ambulance, he thinks he cares more about taking care of Terrell Owens than the rest of this team, and he says he can get us all the way to the hospital-
--End of Call--
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