First up to bat John Edwards. This psychic who has been conning people for 20 years felt flaccid success by recently inhabiting a time-slot on fox's daytime lineup.

With a fast tongue and knowing smile he will randomly spit names out astounding the slow and dependent alike. Using only a color or fact that someone used to own a dog or have a grandmother he will con the recently bereaved into almost anything. The tac team tracked John down in long island new york, at a market near his home. He was kicked straight on in the crotch at medium extension with a Salvatore Ferragamo 'Blasone' Boot. He fell to his knees and doubled over, and threatened serious legal action. He was laughed at and was taunted with calls to have him unleash an army of ghosts upon us.

Next on the docket, The good people at Block Buster for deciding to edit their movies for content. Whoever thought that was a good idea should have their high school diplomas revoked. There are plenty of examples I could run through here, I can't name how many films have been amputated by this mistake of an idea. I'm not going to waste my time with unbelievers either, so I'll make my example the same as my point. Go get a directors cut of "Bad Lieutenant", and get a copy from block buster. You'll notice the entire church scene is missing. I can't think of a better way to ruin a movie short of removing its best scenes. For lack of finding the guy who first thought of the concept, we caught up with John F. Antocio, CEO of blockbuster in the parking lot outside the world headquarters in Dallas Texas. He was taken by surprise and kicked in the crotch from behind, full extension with a Converse sneaker (green). He fell down and cried like a bitch.

Whoever invented Smarties Roll candies. Haven't you ever wanted the excitement of chalk packed into the explosive taste of a wafer? Fuck yes! Not since making out with a container of Comet has a taste like this caught me. Sign me up for a roll of absolute flavor so bland the colors couldn't even commit to anything beyond pastel. I'm positive the original intent of smarties was either antacid or tape worm poison, because it just doesn't add up as a candy. I still don't know anyone who actively participates in purchasing this waste of good landfill material besides the criminally insane and the elderly. The tac team had to do a little digging to get to the bottom of this mystery but we finally found a culpable party. Smarties are made by Ce De Candy, who is part of Krazy bones, who are owned by Toy Craze. We found Toy Craze CEO dining at local restaurant and approached him on his way to the men's room. He was kicked from the front at a slight diagonal angle, with a G-Shox Nike golf cleat. A running start was used, and the fact the kicker also leaped into the air and was equal with the target crotch should also be accounted for.